Random Thoughts and Wild Conjecture

No, I’m not a Republican – I don’t care what the title of today’s blog is…anyway, here are my daily brain farts from the past week or so, for whoever might happen to give a shit:
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Someone should’ve thought to tell the new pope that “Benedict” isn’t a name that has the greatest connotations…

Martha Stewart has roared back onto the scene after getting released from prison, and her net worth is higher than ever. You can almost hear Winona Ryder and Hugh Grant saying “What the Fuuuuucck?”

Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice recently criticized Russia’s Democratic Record, namely the fact that Vladimir Putin has given himself so much power. The guy used to work for the KGB…enough said.

A giant iceberg recently slammed the ice shelf in Antarctica, after breaking off due to the increasingly bad effects of global warming. Republicans still refuse to believe that this “theory” is a scientific fact, but curiously enough Halliburton Industries recently bought several sunblock and umbrella companies…I’m bettin’ that’s not a good sign.

A 10-Year old North Carolina boy recently shot his mother to death before killing himself. What’s that campaign slogan of GWB’s again? “No Child Left Behind”? Maybe it should be amended to include “…except the ones in the morgue.”

A 64 year old Florida man recently was arrested after putting five bullets through the hood of his broken down car, claiming he was “putting it out of its misery.” He went on to say that “Everyone has wanted to do this. It was worth every damn minute in jail.” I have no sarcastic comment for this guy, just a big round of applause.

The Transportation Security Administration (TSA) was recently slammed over reports of “waste and fraud”. It seems that one of their employees used their government charge card to install luxury office space for his employees at the cost of half a million dollars. As a government employee myself, I can say that occurrences such as this are not as rare as you may think. And I only work in one office, of one region, of one agency. Multiply the problem by maybe 10,000, and you start to get a vague idea of why the federal deficit is so high. Hey, my supervisor makes $113,000 per year, and he barely speaks English.

Following a report that concludes that India has the highest HIV-positive population in the world, India responded by calling the report “Nonsense, pure nonsense. Now please pass the AZT.”

And finally, Zacharias Moussaoui, the only man arrested in connection with the 9/11 attacks, has recently said that he would plead guilty in his upcoming trial. This guy is 150 pounds of Hate in a yellow jumpsuit, but if you locked me up for three years with no trail, no lawyers, and no hope, I would agree to plead guilty to the bombing of the fucking Hindenburg, even though I wasn’t alive at the time.